We all experience setbacks in life whether it is at work, in relationships, school or sports. Recently, I started a weight loss plan and was progressing quite well. However, for the last three weeks, I have not lost weight but gained back a couple pounds. My initial reaction was one of disappointment in myself. I must be doing something wrong because the plan had been working nicely for me. I faithfully count points and measure serving sizes. So what went wrong? I started to do some research on how to I can turn setbacks into success.
Here are some key strategies I am learning:
Create A New Mindset
My first learned response to the weight issue is to say to myself, “I knew you couldn’t do it. You were dumb to make your goals public. Now every one will laugh at you.”
Of course, the negative thinking was ingrained years ago and a battle I still fight daily.
Positive self talk is vital to the success of everything we do.
So, I checked my emotional response and challenged it.
Anger, frustration, disappointment, hurt, shame and grief are some common emotions we experience when we are faced with a setback. They are normal reactions to a challenge. What we need to do is evaluate and put them into perspective.
Is it true that I am dumb and just can’t lose weight? Of course not!
Are the emotional reactions helpful? They can be if we use them to create a new mindset.
Is calling myself dumb helpful? No, so I reject that thought as a lie. Is it ok for me to be disappointed? Yes, it is. The disappointment helps motivate me to change.
Remember Having A Setback Is Not Total Defeat
I know people who are what I call “catastrophic thinkers”. When they experience obstacles or a setback, their whole world comes crashing down. A poor grade on a test turns into “I’ll never get my degree! Which means I’ll be stuck in a low paying job and poor forever!” Or maybe denied a promotion at work becomes “I’m not good enough. My career plans are useless. “
When we learn to create a new mindset, we challenge those lies and insert positive and useful beliefs.
My initial response of disappointed has changed to “I will look at the plan and see what positive changes I can make.”
Expect Setbacks
My dad used to say “Life happens when you are looking the other way.” In other words, life throws challenges at us (setbacks) when we are busy living our lives.
The best way of coping is to plan for emergencies, such as natural disasters, car problems and the like. We can protect ourselves with insurances, setting aside money for auto and home expenses and keeping our debt load under control.
We aren’t able to see into our future and know we are fully prepared for any setback. However, it is empowering when we understand that setbacks are common to everyone.
Ask For Help
There is no shame in asking for help. I can’t stress this enough, so I’ll say it again, there is no shame in asking for help.
It is much easier to cope with a setback when you have an ally in your corner.
Going back to my weight loss issues, I shared with my husband my feelings and concerns.
He has helped me work through my negative thinking and even suggested strategies for incorporating more exercise in our day to day life. This support helps me get back to a positive attitude and renews my commitment to healthy living.
Make A Plan
Many people around the world were negatively impacted by the Covid 19 pandemic. I am sensitive to those who lost jobs, careers, businesses, educational opportunities and most importantly, loved ones to this pandemic.
Can people make a comeback? Of course they can. However, it takes a mindset that will help create positive changes. A huge part of this is making a recovery plan and putting it into action.
My plan is to double down on the healthy eating habits I have created, increase my exercise and add more water into my diet. ( Drinking ice water before eating a meal increases your metabolism and helps you feel full.)
I have already started on this new plan and feel great about making positive changes.
Your personal setbacks may seem much more difficult than my weight loss issues. I only offer my struggle as a simple example of dealing with a setback. I hope to encourage you with these strategies for success after a setback.
Photo by Raymond Revaldi on Unsplash
