My friends, I hope this year finds you healthy and doing well. If not, take encouragement, life can get better. I have had some pretty serious difficulties since a traumatic event happened just before Christmas. Since then, I have been going to therapy. I became so very depressed and full of anxiety that my therapist recommended I attend an intensive outpatient therapy program During one session, I began to cry. The group leader asked me “If those tears could talk, what would they say? “
My, oh my, that was a loaded question without an easy answer. Having had one extreme incident after another had numbed me to the seriousness of these events in my life. The group leader pointed out the events that I referred to as “a situation” or a “crises” were in fact, traumatic events. I am suffering from post traumatic distress.
If those tears could talk, they would give voice to the massive amount of grief and fear that I feel. They would speak of deep pain and the feelings of helplessness that I carry with me. My tears would tell the story of hope that is crushed and the belief that God has abandoned me. They would speak to the devastating disappointment in the behavior of my children and the choices they make. Those tears would talk about the sorrow I feel over the loss of the dreams I once had for my kids and their lives. Those tears would cry out for healing in my marriage.
Why am I sharing any of this with you? I want to offer you hope. Recognize these awful events and the trauma I have suffered and I still have hope. I realize it is counter intuitive to say I am depressed and yet I have hope. So I will say this again:
I still have hope
The two most important ideas that I walked away from group with are life changing and life affirming.
First, we do not live in a vacuum, biologically we are made to need relationships with other people. I could relate to every client in that group. We came from every walk of life and we bonded. There was one person in particular whose very countenance and demeanor changed as he was validated and supported by the group. The change in him was visible and beautiful.
Secondly, I learned my work is not complete. I still need help to process all that has happened. There is no absolutely shame in needing help.
Finally, I want to leave you with this:
I am still here and still have hope. Will you walk with me as I explore different aspects of recovery and living a hopeful life? I do hope you will.
Dearest Friend, You are very brave and incredibly generous to share that despite the many traumatic experiences in your life, you still affirm hope for the future! Knowing you are committed to recovery and a hopeful life helps me believe in a hopeful future, too. I agree with and am so glad you emphasize there is no shame in getting help! Your honesty and willingness to share your journey with others will help many people!
Thank you for your kind words. My goal in sharing is to help others who are struggling with these type of issues. Healing doesn’t happen over night, but not every hurt has to last a lifetime. Thank you for your support!