The Corona virus, as we all know, has ravaged all the corners of the world. As a result, our lives have been turned upside down. How has it affected you? Are you angry or scared? Are you stressed, worried or maybe feeling indifferent?
My husband and I work in the health care industry and knew with a certainty the the virus would reach our community. We did not know when or how hard the area would be hit. However, has reached us this week in a personally challenging way.
It Begins
My husband called me at work Thursday to say the doctor was sending him to the ER with suspected pneumonia. I went to meet him at the ER to find that I could not get in to see him! My reaction was one of anger. We both work in the healthcare field for the same employer, but I could not see him at the very hospital where I had been cleared to work. ( We have to be screened in order to work every day)
“I don’t understand!”, was my confused and furious reaction. “I work in the lab where I am expected to test patients for a number of health problems which can include specimens for the virus. But I can’t see my man because I might have the virus? Or he might have it? We kissed each other good by this morning!”
The nurses starting looking at me in alarm and I knew I had to leave before I was escorted out by security (a pimply face boy who looked barely old enough to start high school. ) I told the nurses that I knew they did not set policy and apologized Storming into the parking lot I wanted to thrash someone.
Taking a deep breath to calm myself did not work. I called my daughters to tell them, I started sobbing . My anger had grown to a point where I had to talk to someone just to be able to breathe.
My Confession
“But “WAIT ” you say, what about all those posts on dealing with stress? I thought you were some sort of expert on being gritty?”
What a good question!
I am human. Period.
Suddenly , my world is spinning out of control again. What is one to do?
The ER doctor ordered flu testing and x rays. He admitted my husband to the hospital. Today, the doctor sent out a specimen for a viral panel which tests for upwards of twenty five viruses that can cause pneumonia.
What Now?
Today, I spent hours on the phone talking to a dozen people in different departments. I needed to know what my employer expected of me in this situation. Oddly enough, not one person could tell me. Do I work or isolate at home? Honestly, there is no in between.
My supervisor and I agreed that I would not come in tomorrow. By Saturday night, I should have more information. If the viral panel comes back normal, my husband will be tested for Corona virus. Living day by day is my only choice.
Side Note
Whatever emotional reactions you are experiencing to this pandemic, remember: It is totally normal! If you are grappling with the severity of the effect on your life, leave me a comment. I would love to hear from you as we walk through this crisis together.
Live moment to moment and understand this pandemic will end someday.
More of the story in my next post.
Be well my friends,
Erin
Photo by Daniele Levis Pelusi on Unsplash
